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| nth much lately..too many things have been in my head though...I've been tryin to analyze my own problems. I thot have, but i guess i hadnt done a thorough enough job. I have been tryin everything to repress the internal riots of my heart. But i dun think its rili workin. Maybe u say i am stubborn, but u would understand it if u were in my shoe. Along wit dat, everything has been pretty crappy in da second half of this yr. If things were a lil better, it would have compensated for da unfortunate thing dat had happend in da first half of da yr. I had been guided to too many false hopes throughout da entire yr. Do u call this innocence or ignorance? Or maybe i had jes over estimated and over expected many things. i've learned many things.
Love is like gamboling. Or its like one of those dieting commercials dat make u think ur gonna gain ur confidence pretty soon, but itz jes total shit. I dun get it. Is dere literally something wrong wit me? Or was it dat i was such a home-gurl, who keeps on fallin for guys dat r so different from myself. Howcome im not like those gurls where dere is an awesome person who is putting relentless effort into makin me smile for them. If u think i sound desparate, i'm not. I just dun understand ppl who oppress themselves for peeps dat dun even glimpse at them. On da otherhand, i do feel free of responsibility. Getting involved in a relationship is like carryin ur luggage around. Itz could be heavy.
Haha, and about dat guy dat i had been checkin out this whole semester in Psychology class, itz all over. Most of u thot i had been obsessed over him, but neh. I jes wanted something to um.....would u call it "turn me on" ?? Well..most of us kno wut da real reason was for me to check him out all da time. Right??  I saw him yesterday at sku..haha...didnt feel horny or anything ...LOLZ* Cant wait till da finals or all over~ and WOW my cousin is comin next week from Australia..soooo happies!!
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| ya...celebrated Dylan's bday yesterday. Wow...his frd is sooooo cute!!! but damn, he is 13mths younger than me...dats too much eh? I just turned 18 and he will be turning 17 soon. SOOOOO CUTE!!! Let me spell his name out for you... B-R-I-A-N ... I better stop checkin out younger guys man..It felt like he knew i was checkin him out..everytime i looked at him he looks ba...YIKES!!! *sweating* WE r now talkin on MSN !! HAPPY!!!So did everyone have fun drinkin last nite? hahaha...
Too bad i couldnt go to John's Bday today...aiya...solli dude. Hope you guys have fun lah.. | | |
| NOV. 8
Haha, did u guys have fun at da party?? Everyone jes shows dere horny side and all those sick ideas wenever we play truth or dare. OMG....i cant imagine wut will happen if Hien were here..lolz~ Thx for all da PUCCA things; my bed is now filled wit PUCCA..haha. And thx for all those other presents I got. Especially da black, see-through "THONGS" Janet got me -_-" It doesnt even fit me..Aiya...too bad Xtina had to leave early. You missed out da fun..haha. Or maybe ur glad dat u didnt have to do sick things, such as putting da bottle btwn someone's legs and try 2 open da cap wit ur mouth, or lifting a guys's shirt up wit ur teeth  . HAHA!! Doin da Tango wit Kevin lolz!! I wonder wen is da next party. MORE truth or dare and MORE sick stuff comin up...muhahahahaah!!! | | |
| HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONICA!! WE HAVE BOTH TURNED 18 FINALLY!!
Thx for your present Vanessa, I love it!  And thanx to all those who remembered my birthday. Until today, I finally learned something. Love doesnt always have to come from a guy. I think I have really seen all da love dat i can get from my besties!! Yah, I've been goin thru some shitz and we all kno that. BUT! great muahz and hugz to Kevin, Dylan and Janet for helping me getting through. U kno wut Kevin? That talk wit you totally soothed me. I guess ur r rite, "Keep smiling becuase you never kno who will fall in love wit it." I guess i agree dat "No guy is worth ur tears, and if u find one dat is, he wont make you cry." And no matter of all da ups and downs we go thru, "Life is like a rainbow, you need all da colors to complete it." I am all OK now.. Leavin it all behind will bring a future and help me grow. ME A BIG GURL NOW...forget about all da shitz dat happend to me in past years la...or even in da few days just before i turned 18. DAI GOR LUI LAH !!
However, deep inside, i think she is a very lucky gurl. I guess loving a person doesnt mean possesing a person. I guess my bday wish is to wish them luck. Hope they last longer than he and I did (lolz, how stupid of me, ofcors they will), and get thru any problems they encounter, unlike how we jes broke up from outta no where. I guess its my fault dat we never rili see eachother. I hope she wont end up crying in a corner like me. I tried to be tough; but i realized dat i wasnt. I sed i never cried, but i lied..They prolly love each other lots...and spend lotsa time together. I guess da timing for us wasnt rite. But, dats all a part of fate. I SOUND SO GAY....><
But I still have all my buddies and my awesome brother Kevin. Hehe. Hey,
FOXY BESTIES..remember this from last yr?   | | |
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